How to Help Your Child Deal with Exam Stress — By a Neuroscientist

How to help your child deal with exam stress — by a neuroscientist

Exam season can transform even the calmest households into centers of stress, tension, and late-night cramming. For parents, it’s hard to see their children overwhelmed by the pressures of performance and high expectations. However, understanding the science behind your child’s stress and offering the right kind of support can make a world of difference. Neuroscientist Sarah-Jayne Blakemore sheds light on what’s happening in young brains during exam season and how parents, educators, and caregivers can step in to help.

Understanding the Teen Brain During Exam Season

Adolescence and the Power of Neuroplasticity

Teenagers are often thought of as highly emotional and volatile, but adolescence is also a period of immense learning and growth. One of the brain’s standout features during this time is its remarkable capacity for neuroplasticity – the ability to rewire itself based on experiences and new information.

For students, this means that their brains are primed for learning and problem-solving, which are critical for success during exams. But there’s a catch: the tools young people need to manage tasks and stress, like focus and self-regulation, are still developing.

The Prefrontal Cortex and Exam Challenges

The prefrontal cortex, the brain’s control center responsible for planning, focus, and self-discipline, is still maturing during adolescence and doesn’t fully develop until the mid to late 20s. This developmental stage explains why tasks like organizing revision schedules, resisting distractions, and maintaining concentration are challenging for many teenagers.

Understanding these biological realities can help parents approach their children with more empathy and set up strategies tailored to their developmental stage.

Practical Tips to Help Children Cope with Exam Stress

1. Foster a Growth Mindset

The belief that intelligence and ability are not fixed but can grow through practice is incredibly powerful, particularly during adolescence. Remind your child that making mistakes and facing challenges are part of the learning process, not signs of failure. Praise their effort rather than their results and shift the focus from grades to improvement. By doing this, you help develop resilience and persistence.

How to Support a Growth Mindset:

  • Celebrate small wins, like completing a study session.
  • Encourage trying new study techniques if the current ones aren’t working.
  • Remind your child that they can always improve with continued effort.

2. Break Revision into Manageable Chunks

Faced with the enormity of covering an entire syllabus, many teenagers feel paralyzed. Break tasks into smaller, manageable goals. Create a realistic timetable with planned breaks and use visual tools like charts or checklists to help them stay on track.

Providing external “scaffolding,” such as helping them structure their time or reminding them when to take breaks, can greatly reduce stress.

3. Create an Emotionally Safe Environment

For teens, exams are not just about academic performance but about social standing. They worry about how their results will affect how peers, parents, and teachers perceive them.

To soften this pressure:

  • Place greater emphasis on effort than outcomes.
  • Resist the urge to constantly ask about grades or compare them to others.
  • Reassure your child that their worth is not tied to exam results.

This approach minimizes the feelings of being judged and creates a safe environment where your child feels supported rather than scrutinized.

4. Help Manage Stress Levels

Stress can quickly become counterproductive. While a moderate level of stress can boost focus and motivation, too much of it can impair memory and cognitive performance.

Strategies to manage stress include:

  • Encouraging regular breaks and relaxation methods such as deep breathing or mindfulness apps.
  • Staying active through physical exercises like walking or yoga, which are proven stress reducers.
  • Using calming techniques, like listening to music or engaging in creative hobbies, to unwind between study sessions.

5. Prioritize Sleep

Sleep is vital for consolidating what your child learns during the day and maintaining emotional balance. Unfortunately, teenagers often miss out on quality sleep, particularly during exam season.

Tips to Improve Sleep:

  • Set consistent sleep and wake times, even during study leave.
  • Limit screen time an hour before bed to avoid blue light disrupting their melatonin production.
  • Ensure they have a comfortable, quiet space to rest.

By reinforcing good sleep hygiene, you’ll help your child feel more rested and focused during exams.

6. Reward Progress, Not Just Results

Teenagers’ brains are wired to respond strongly to rewards, especially immediate ones. This makes tasks with long-term payoffs, like exam preparation, feel less motivating.

Introduce short-term rewards to keep them engaged:

  • Allow a favorite activity, like gaming or watching TV, after a revision session.
  • Acknowledge their hard work through kind words or small treats.

Recognizing their effort, big or small, can motivate them to keep going.

What Not to Do as a Parent

While it’s important to be supportive, it’s equally crucial to avoid behaviors that could inadvertently increase stress levels.

  • Don’t micromanage: Give your child the space to take ownership of their studies.
  • Avoid projecting your own anxiety: Your stress can easily rub off on them.
  • Don’t dismiss their feelings: Validate their stress and show them you understand how overwhelming exams can feel.

Final Thoughts

Teenagers are not “miniature adults”; they’re navigating the pressures of exams while their brains are still developing critical skills like focus, emotional regulation, and long-term planning. By understanding the neuroscience behind exam stress, parents, educators, and caregivers can provide the right kind of support to make the season less daunting.

From fostering a growth mindset to ensuring they get enough rest, small, thoughtful actions on your part can make a significant difference. After all, exam success is about more than just grades—it’s about helping your child build resilience, confidence, and healthy habits they’ll carry into adulthood.

Got more questions about helping your child manage stress? Share your thoughts in the comments or reach out to experts for additional guidance.